Is This Seat Taken?

Oh dear… I hope this seat isn’t taken now. I have been on a blog break for quite sometime and I’m ready to resume my seat at the table. I had a comment from A faithful table mate expressing that she missed reading posts from the table and that simply inspired me to get back to it! I’ll share what’s been happening but as we always do… let’s pray first…

   Father in heaven, I ask that You will be here with us and reacquaint us with one another again. Help us to see and hear You Father. In Jesus name, Amen.

       Oh boy, it feels like I have so much to tell you all but not enough space to do that. So, I’ll give you the Readers Digest version. So here we go…

       I finished chemo back in August as you know and had a bit of a reprieve for about a month until the lumpectomy. Then came the fabulous news that my cancer was in remission!

Insert jumping with joy and shouts of praise here…

       Then recovery time before starting radiation. That began on November first. I feared that after the surgery I would feel… altered. I had some pain but God saw me through that time. It felt like He was telling me that what ever had to be taken from me, He would fill the void. That is one lesson I hope encourages someone reading this. When there is something taken from you, God can fill the emptiness with His love and peace.

       Then came the first day of radiation. I had a few steps to take before beginning this process. I had to quite literally be tattooed. Markings to follow for radiation and for any future procedures that may need tracking of the radiation. Then came the unpleasant task of raising my arms above my head to rest in arm cuffs and being… exposed to everyone in the room. The radiation was targeted to the area at the bottom of my right ribcage to the top of my right collar bone. Oh, how I felt violated even though nothing unprofessional took place.

       I felt like a cadaver being used in a lab experiment. Nameless and faceless as I lay there unzipped and under inspection. A big balloon type hat was placed over both my feet, sort of rubber banding them together so as not to move them during the radiation. Unable to move and unwilling to cry, I closed my eyes and prayed for God to just get me through it.

       I want to be clear that the radiation team was fantastic and did their jobs professionally and ethically. This was my own personal feelings about the process. I closed my eyes for the radiation and prayed for God to protect my body from the damage it was receiving. He quieted my spirit and gave me peace. He just kept reminding me that He had created the body I was asking Him to protect.

       A few weeks went by and I began feeling the affects of the radiation. Some redness, some tenderness, but I was doing alright. Then the evidence of what was happening inside my body revealed its ugliness outside my body. Burns and open wounds were getting worse and worse with each treatment. This reminded me of how the enemy attacks. When we are vulnerable and exposed, he keeps the radiation coming. God assured me that He was walking this road with me. This road that was full of ruts, stones, field trees, and uneven ground. He took my hand and helped me over and around the rough terrain.

       God never promised to clear the path of all obstacles or rough patches. He did however promise to walk the path with us. It is what we glean on those paths and what we choose to do with that which we glean that makes the journey worth it.

       Treating third degree burns and learning to function temporarily with those burns proved to be a challenge. Not being able to put my right arm down completely or even move it around to much, gave me yet another appreciation for cancer warriors as well as burn patients. I have often said throughout my excavation that I was embarrassingly naïve about what cancer patients go through. For anyone out there who may be reading this who is or has gone through cancer, I get it! I also apologize for my naivety about this disease.

       After healing from radiation, I feel like God has clothed me in new skin… Literally and figuratively. Then one week after I finished radiation, I got covid. So, Christmas and New Year looked a little different this year. I have learned the meaning of the verse found in 2 Peter…

2 Peter 1:5 – 7 “For this very reason, make every effort to supplement your faith with virtue and virtue with knowledge and knowledge with self-control and self-control with steadfastness and steadfastness with Godliness and Godliness with brotherly affection and brotherly affection with love. For if these qualities are yours and are increasing, they keep you from being ineffective or unfruitful in the knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ.” (ESV)

       Every time we have a difficult time in our lives, it’s an opportunity to grow in our spiritual journey. Each trial can be a building block in our faith. We can glean and grow and gain wisdom along the way. It can be used to further God’s kingdom. I’m involved in a ministry God laid on my heart to begin during my treatments. This prayer blanket ministry has been just as big a blessing for me as it has been for the recipients. We have a choice to lay down in defeat or rise up in faith.

       It’s not easy to make that choice! When I didn’t think, I was going to survive chemo, I really had to reevaluate my faith and spiritual strength because it felt very week. But God let me lay down and rest and then gave me the strength to rise up again. Now I have targeted therapy treatments until June of this year but I’m choosing to see them as appointments to deliver prayer blankets. This is my focus for the next five months. I’d love your prayers for this ministry, God has been blessing it and I know He’ll continue to do so. I have had some very generous doners come along side me in this and I could never thank them enough for doing so. I look forward to seeing how God grows it in the future!

       I’ll share more but I think that’s enough for now, I don’t want to have too long of a post LOL. It’s just good to be writing again and I look forward to connecting with you all again! Blessings table family, hugs and love to you all!          

One thought on “Is This Seat Taken?

  1. Hi Cyndi! Hope this message finds you in peace and healing. Your testimony has reminded me to count the small blessings that other wish to enjoy. I want to remind you just how very strong and courageous you are!!!! I now have a vivid imagine of the trialing of your faith that you and so many others have experienced. I love that you are committed to showing love to others while you seek healing. What a blessing!!!

    You have inspired me to keep running the race God has set before me and that He is with me every step of the way!

    Yours in Christ and praying for you!


    Liked by 1 person

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