I Was Totally Topless!

Father in Heaven, I pray that these words have the effect You want them to have. Let them be honest and true and bring  glory to Your name. In Jesus name, Amen.


So do you have your coffee or tea or water? I’ve been really trying to boost my water intake lately. In fact I have a small little group on Facebook of people who wanted to drink more water as well so I started the page and we have just a little support group for us to encourage one another on this journey.


But I digress. So let’s settle in with our beverage and hopefully a muffin or danish. I want to take you down memory lane with me, so let’s get going…


When I was about nine years old or so, I began taking dance lessons. You know, the usual ballet, tap, and jazz type of thing. Oh I had such fun with those costumes and tap shoes that made a great noise on the wooden floor! One year our jazz number for the recital had us wearing a white and silver leotard with a silver grass-like skirt. We wore shear black pantyhose and our shiny  black tap shoes. But the icing on the cake was the shiniest glittery silver fedora we had to wear! This costume was a little girls dream come true. Not only did we get to wear such a fancy costume… we got to wear them in front of people! 



That recital went off without a hitch. Eight girls ranging from nine to twelve linked arms and did a Rockette style kick-line! Four of us faced forward and four faced backward and we did a spinning kick-line! Oh how I loved that routine. We got a standing ovation for that one and all eight of us were on a performers cloud nine.


But one other such recital didn’t go quite so well. We did our ballet number where yours truly played the “lead swan” in the show. All the other “swans” were in lilac colored leotards and flowy shear lilac skirts. But I was donning a gleaming white leotard and matching flowy sheer skirt AND silver crown! It was my job to “awaken” all the spell induced sleeping swans  by gently tossing lovely floating flower peddles upon their motionless forms sprawled around the stage. As I twirled and tippy-toed across the stage, I heard my best friend whisper “throw one on me!”. So I obliged. I quickly snatched a peddle out of my basket before I floated passed her and whipped it in her direction thereby beaning her right in the face with the deadly peddle.


This of course brought laughter from the audience and thankfully there was no harm done. The ballet number closed and we again received applause from all the proud parents.


Then our jazz number came up. We danced to the song from the late fifty’s called “Splish Splash”. We had faux card board bath tubs that were fastened to legs to make them stand up. Our outfits for such a number was to wear a bath towel wrapped around us held together by Velcro.


Now I can almost hear you all saying “what! That’s all those little girls were wearing?” But our dance instructor was more conscientious then to let that be all we wore. We were also wearing shorts and what used to be known as a “tube top”, so there were no straps showing. So we proceeded to wrap our towels about us and Velcro them shut, crouch down behind the card board tubs and wait for the curtain to open. The music started, the lights came up and the curtain slid apart. As soon as the words began, we were to pop our heads above the rim of the tub and sing along. When the song came to the phrase “well I stepped out the tub, put my feet on the floor…”, we were supposed to stand up and step over the edge of our flimsy little make-shift tubs. All in one motion as well!


So I dutifully stood and lifted my foot to step over the tub. Accept, my foot caught the edge and knocked my tub over. But that wasn’t the worst… Just as I stood up, my towel came undone and fell off. “Well at least she had on the tube-top and shorts” you may be thinking. But alas… my tube-top fell down to my waist in my upward motion.  So there I stood, tub knocked over, towel on the floor, and completely… TOPLESS!


Gasps rang out and giggles were heard by all. Red-faced and humiliated, I ran off stage into the arms of my dance instructor.  I felt like such a failure. I was embarrassed and crying my little Ten year old eyes out. But you know what my teacher did? She simply let me cry without trying to tell me that it wasn’t a big deal. She didn’t soften the blow by saying that no one saw anything. She allowed me to feel what I was feeling and just held me for a few moments. Then she brushed my hair back and told me she was still proud of me. She was still so happy I was one of her dancers. She Held out her arms and let me run into them, tears and all.


She never made me feel like i was over-reacting or being a drama queen. She validated my feelings and let me know she still loved me.


This makes me think of how God accepts us no matter how embarrassed we might feel or the mistakes we have made. He loves us anyway!


1 John 4:19 “We love because He first loved us.”


It’s as simple as that! This verse doesn’t say that God loved us because we are without mistakes. He doesn’t love us because we are perfect. He doesn’t love us because we didn’t mess up in the dance recital. God loves us because He’s God and God is love. He is waiting with open arms for us to run into and pour out our feelings and hearts. He will validate how you are feeling and then brush your hair aside and tell you He still loves you anyway.


He isn’t waiting for you to get it right. He isn’t waiting for you to pull your top up and set your tub upright. God is just waiting for you. Won’t you run into His arms and let Him hold you? Let Him dry your tears and tell you He loves you.

6 thoughts on “I Was Totally Topless!

  1. Cyndi, i loved every bit of this story! Your teacher did an excellent action that was really so simple but very profound. As we all know that our God does the same. I get a sense of it is ok to cry and feel the pain but experience it and then move on. This is truely my desire! I have been holding onto past hurts and failures but it is time to go forward! Thanks so much for the shared story! Please keep me in prayer! Love you very much! Mary Mueller


    1. Hi Mary!!! I’m so glad you reached out here! Yes, our Father wants us to be able to feel our hurts but then trust our hurts to Him and understand that He loves us no matter what! I will for sure be praying for you my sweet friend! Blessings 🙂


  2. Cindy
    I love this story! I have young kids and I learnt a lesson from your teacher today!
    I have too many things I am ashamed and embarrassed about. This is a gentle reminder that God loves me no matter what


    1. Hi Ann! Yes, you are so correct, God loves you anyway. He wants you to be able to let go of the shame and embarrassment and feel His love and forgiveness instead of shame. Jesus died on the cross so you wouldn’t have to feel shame in the presents of God. The enemy would have us holding on to all our past mistakes. But our Father wants to cast them into the depths of the sea. Cast them away dear friend and Let Him fill your heart! Blessings


  3. Cyndi, you gave me Holy Ghost bumps! You are as beautiful now as you were back then, You were a joy to teach and so very lovable. I’m so happy that God is using you to reach others through your writings, especially through memories like these. They are priceless! The fact that you found something good in a painful memory and have used it to help others is proof that His grace and beauty shine through you. It was a pleasure to be your ballet teacher, and I’m so glad that we have reconnected. Please keep in touch.

    Your sister in Christ,
    Vickie Lynn

    1 Peter 1:10 “Each of you should use whatever gift you have received to serve others, as faithful stewards of God’s grace..”


    1. Hi Vickie! It was so awesome to connect with you! I love the verse you have here, it’s so appropriate. I look forward to staying in touch and I am hoping to find a few pictures to share with my table family here. Hugs to you and I thank you once again for your encouraging words… then and now 🙂 xoxo


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