Just how much will I have to endure?

Father in Heaven, I pray that eyes and ears are open to receive the message You have for each of us here. In Jesus name, Amen.


Well folks, grab your seat at the table and let’s chat! Today I have my pre-surgery appointments for repairing my hearing. This will take place in October but this appointment will go over all the things to expect.


Many of you know that I was in an abusive relationship for two years when I was eighteen years old. The damage done to my ear and hearing is a result of that relationship. The tiny bones that support my ear drum and allow sound to filter in, are broken. They have been for years. I will be getting prosthetic bones put in.


This surgery will take about two hours and I’ll go home the same day. However, I will have NO hearing in that ear for two months.


That’s right… ten percent vision and only one ear to hear out of. Not an ideal situation.


But honestly, how many of us walk around this way in our spiritual lives? Not fully seeing and not fully hearing God.


Matthew 11:15 “He who has ears, let him hear.”


If we want to hear God, we must ask for Him to open our ears. If we want to see God, we must ask Him to open our eyes. Even if we are literally blind or literally deaf, God can allow us to see and hear Him. I want God to perform a surgery too. A surgery to help my spiritual hearing to be restored. I want Him to give me clear vision in spite of my blindness.


I’ve recently been feeling “root bound” and wanting God to replant me in a bigger pot so I can grow. I’m not sure what that bigger pot will look like. It might resemble surgical packing in my ear for two months. It might resemble ninety percent vision loss and counting.


It might also resemble being published or speaking somewhere that God assigns. I don’t know for sure. But what I do know is that I will take what He places in front of me and use it for His honor and glory.


Sometimes I can fall into the pit of “just how much do I have to endure”, that can threaten to throw me off course. Have you ever found yourself asking this question? It feels like we just can’t deal with one more thing. It kind of feels like I’ve had that kind of year. But at the end of the recovery time after surgery, I will regain eighty percent of my hearing. Which is VERY important for someone with ten percent vision.


We sometimes have to endure pain so we can ultimately gain. When it feels like too much, just know God has a superior plan in mind. It comes down to trust. Trust is a must.


I would welcome your prayers come October and I’ll be filling you in along the journey. I look forward to “hearing” from each and every one of you! Blessings.



8 thoughts on “Just how much will I have to endure?

  1. Thank you for sharing. You are a witness in that you continue to trust that God is working even in difficult times. I pray that the surgery goes well.


    1. Annie I thank you for your prayers and I indeed will take care and follow the doctors instructions post surgery. I still intend to write during that time. Hope you are doing great and it’s good to hear from you.


  2. Oh my, I am just catching up on emails, I am sorry I am just reading this, but hey it’s not Oct. yet!!
    Prayed just now, & keep us posted as it gets closer-Will perhaps have no internet ?? in CA at the place we are staying, its suppose to be sketchy so I hope it works!! If you don’t hear the 4th-13 that is what happened.
    You are such a beautiful reminder of God’s grace & faithfulness. You keep me pressing on towards the goal, as we are challenged to do in Scripture!
    Love you much !


    1. Oh Rene your beautiful words humble me! I so appreciate everyone’s prayers. I will be thinking of all of you during my surgery and recovery time. Keep pressing forward in the grace of God and always keep your eyes focused on Him. The enemy may blur our sight but we can keep our eyes clearly focused on the King. Blessings to you my sweet friend and lots of love and hugs xoxo


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