Father in heaven, I ask that You are in and around every word written here and that it reaches all who read them. In Jesus name, Amen.
Have a seat y’all, let me fill your plates with words and I hope you savor them.
My husband had to spend a couple days in the hospital this week and I was doing a little thinking while he was doing a little sleeping.
I have changed quite a bit over the last few years. I think most of the change however, has happened this year. A lot happened in a fairly short time frame and I don’t think I handled it as well as I would like to think I did.
The deaths of my neighbor and my very dear friend shook me pretty hard. My vision that I still have, worsened pretty significantly, our fifteen year long family dream falling apart in the middle of it coming true, health issues, graduation party for my daughter and then her starting college… and the list goes on and on.
In the midst of all this, I had family complications, my dad had a pretty involved surgery, I have a conference in Florida in a couple weeks then my own surgery right after I get home.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m so grateful for how God has been leading and that things are maintaining. So many people have suffered great loss with Hurricane Dorian as well as other major events going on around the nation and beyond. But I feel that we need to validate the events in our own lives because God cares for each and every one of His children no matter what they are going through.
I have looked at myself after noticing these changes and asked the question, “who is that other woman?”
I hardly recognize her anymore. She seems so foreign to me. She is more easily distracted. She is less fun-loving. She doesn’t smile as much. She isn’t as adventurous. I hate to admit this one… but she isn’t as kind as she used to be.
She seems more short tempered, less affectionate to her family, less eager to help others, less involved at church. I’m not sure i care much for this other woman.
I have a friend that I share a common interest with. Well, several common interests actually. But the most important one is our love of Jesus. We both believe He has plans for our lives no matter the challenges. She shared with me this week, how much she appreciates every single day of her life. You see, she isn’t guaranteed tomorrow. Her challenges are unpredictable but she wares a bright beautiful smile everyday. She shares her zest for life with everyone and I am so honored to call her my friend.
She is teaching me to not just live life but to love life and those who are in my life.
As I walk this road that God has me on right now, I will remember what He instructs in scripture :
2 Timothy 2:24 “and the Lords servant must not be quarrelsome but kind to everyone, able to teach, patiently enduring evil.”
These words have been on my mind. “…kind to everyone…”
Everyone? I think of my friend who is so joyful and happy and I realize she is in fact kind to everyone. I have allowed my circumstances to dictate whether or not I’m going to be kind at all, let alone to everyone.
Our circumstances will forever be changing therefore my ability to be kind would forever be changing as well; if I let my choice rest on my circumstances.
I must put my circumstances in Gods hands to handle and make the conscious choice to be kind. We must place the evil things that happen in our lives, squarely on the one responsible for that evil. It is satan alone who causes evil. It is his sole purpose to try and point the finger at God for us to place the blame.
But dear friends, we must never forget that God has the final say. He allows certain things to happen for the purpose of showing satan that Gods children will trust Him even in the face of adversity. The enemy is trying to disprove faithfulness to God by dumping as much garbage on us as he wants too. It is our purpose to show the enemy that we love and trust God to spite what he throws at us.
As my friend wakes each morning with gratitude and joy, I will wake each morning with renewed determination to be kind and joyful to everyone. So that I can look at the person I had changed into with an unfamiliar gaze and ask the question again… “who is that other woman?”
I don’t want to recognize her as what i had once been. I want to see the kind loving person God wants me to be and say with a smile, “who is that other woman?”
This woman I want to know.