Why Are You Doing this to Me, God?

I am certain without posing the question that most, if not all, of us have begged the question “Why are you doing this to me, God?”. When things seem so bleak that we simply cannot see the proverbial silver lining, we want to know why God would allow this to happen. I have most definitely asked this question repeatedly. Why would God let me have blindness to carry throughout my life? What good could it possibly do? When we have a child born with, or resulting from an accident, a disability of any kind, we want to know why.

This past week I went on a church retreat camp meeting chock full of spiritual seminars designed to feed us spiritually. There were many to choose from for all age groups. I went with a dual purpose. There were a group of teenagers from a couple of our churches that are working on the “Master Guide” program for Pathfinders. (This is the Christian equivalent of Boy/Girl scouts) There were many of the requirements available at this camp meeting so I decided it would be perfectly fine for me to take all six teens up there… by myself! Ok you can pick your jaw up now. My husband would be up on the two weekends, but it would be up to me for the rest of the week. We had a pop-up camper that slept two of the girls plus myself. Then we had two tents side by side across the front of our camp sight— one for the two other girls and one for the two boys.

Let me insert here that all six of these kids have been in Pathfinders together for the last seven years. Also, four of them are related and the other two girls might as well be. They are all very close. So, Sunday came and Jeremy had to go back home for work. I assured him (and myself) that I would be fine, nothing to worry about. Let me just tell you some details about our campsite. The previous year, an obviously large and heavy camper or motor-home had been on this sight and it had rained, resulting in the trailer sinking and leaving two enormous ruts in the middle of the camp sight. This proved to be a problem for someone with very little vision. I repeatedly stepped in, twisted my foot on, or fell in said ruts, over and over again. We supposedly had running water. I guess that meant we’d be running the water back and forth across the dirt pathway to get it. What’s that you ask? Did we at least have electricity? Oh yes! Exactly fifteen amps to share between two campers. We did in fact lose power on one of the hottest nights we had. At 2 a.m. I might add. We also had luxurious port-a-potty latrines to share. So this of course meant I would have to have someone walk me up to one every time I needed to go.

The second night we were there without Jeremy, it down poured all night   long! I worried about the kids in the tents and prayed for the rain to cease. It didn’t. The kids were all going in different directions for their classes and I still had to get to mine. Remember that dual purpose I mentioned? I was there to get certified in Women’s Ministry. My class ran for two-and-a-half hours in the morning and an hour and forty-five minutes in the afternoon. Trying to figure out eating times in between was challenging but we managed to do it on a camp stove we have. Navigating around the camp sight with tent stakes holding strings suspended outward that I couldn’t hope to see was interesting. Well… you get the idea.

I had to ask various people to help me get from place to place and that resulted in feelings of being a burden to others. But I do not tell you all this to complain or pout about how difficult it was. I tell you because I have a new favorite verse in the bible. It’s John 9;3 which says “Jesus answered, ’it was not that this man sinned, or his parents. But that the works of God might be displayed in him.’”

I love that the first two words of this scripture is “Jesus answered”. These have quickly become my two favorite words in the bible. You see friends, God allowed the rain, the ruts, the lack of running water, the extended tent ropes, all the other challenges for me so that His work could be displayed in me. Ya know what? I made it through the week unharmed. I earned my certification in Women’s Ministry. I had no major mishaps. I even had women approach me and tell me what a blessing it was to see me going forward and accomplishing what I desired to do with Gods help in spite of my disability. May I just add here that I’d like to put the “ABILITY” back in the word disability. Oh my dear readers, whatever you may be facing today, God is just waiting for you to allow his work to be displayed in you! The blind man rejoiced at his vision being restored and had no care for how long he had to endure being blind. Jesus answered and God’s work was being displayed. How marvelous. Oh how I want to be the back-drop for Gods display. How about you?

2 thoughts on “Why Are You Doing this to Me, God?

  1. Cyndi, you are an inspiration to all who know you- humble, godly, articulate, great teacher. Congratulations for getting certified in women’s ministry, I believe God will use you to help others through their own struggles. You are a bright light in a dark world!

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    1. Oh Karen, your kind words humble me. Were you in the certification class as well? I would have loved to meet you. I hope you find some inspiration elsewhere in my blog. Thank you for taking the time to comment. Blessings

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