Aren’t Boundaries Un-Christ-like

Welcome… Welcome back to the table! My table is covered with a beautiful rich wine-colored table cloth with a white sheer square in the middle. I have Autumn battery operated candles in the center and plenty of room for all! Pour yourself a cup of coffee or tea or maybe even some hot cider and let’s chat.

       Father in Heaven, may we learn a valuable lesson about protecting ourselves from negative influence, so that we can better serve You. There is the abundant life You want us to have so we ask for Your guidance here in seeing one key to having that life. In Jesus name, Amen.

       Have you ever needed to set boundaries with certain people but it felt sort of… mean to do that? Like somehow you were telling them they couldn’t sit at the cool kid lunch table? I have struggled with this so much in my life. To the point of physical ailment! I would have literal physical symptoms like elevated blood pressure, upset stomach, headaches, anxiety, dread, sleeplessness… real issues.

       I knew it was right to place boundaries in situations that were outside of my circle. Circle of family, friends, church… people who I didn’t necessarily “do life” with. That was a little easier. But what about setting boundaries within that circle?

2 Timothy 3:2 – 5 says “For people will be lovers of self, lovers of money, proud, arrogant, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, heartless, unappeasable, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not loving good, treacherous, reckless, swollen with conceit, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, having the appearance of Godliness but denying it’s power, avoid such people.” (ESV)

       We can see in these verses that boundaries are endorsed by God. I have had people who meet these qualifications and I’ve had to set some pretty firm boundaries. I realized that often times boundaries aren’t to keep someone else out as much as it is to help keep us held together.

       If we are constantly drained from being run rough-shod over by so called friends, family, or even other people that we care about, then we will be ineffective in being a help to anyone. Our moods change and we are mentally and physically exhausted. Our health begins to take a toll and we simply are left with an empty cup.

       Imagine your flowers or house plants being dried out and in much need of watering. You wouldn’t expect to pick up your water can or jug and take it over to your plants and pour out water without first filling the vessel, right? It simply doesn’t make sense. We can’t get water, AKA, nourishment, from an empty cup. Why do we then think we can continually nourish others when we are not being filled up?

       If other plants were in addition, taking nourishment from healthy plants, thus leaving them depleted, wouldn’t you eliminate the life sucking plant or at least move it away from the healthy plant? This is setting boundaries. Not allowing life sucking behavior to deplete healthy lives. We are doing Christ-like behavior when we set boundaries so as not to cause unneeded stress on a healthy life that is being nourishing to others. I’ve had to re-evaluate what I think God is asking of me in my ministry and how my relationships are affecting that ministry. Also, how those relationships are affecting my health and life.

       I’ve also learned that setting boundaries allows for relationships to remain in tact but with some new placements. We don’t necessarily have to cut someone out of our lives to set up boundaries. It’s a matter of a type of parking meter. We have so much time we’ve allowed for this relationship and when that time is up, we need to pull away from the curb, but you still drove there and parked for a time. This keeps the relationship in tact at a healthy and doable level.

       Now please understand that this post is not referring to abusive and dangerous relationships. Those need to be addressed in an entirely different manner. Please seek help and get to a safe place if that is the case. I am only addressing unhealthy relationships that are more taking then giving. I am not a councilor or therapist. I just have some experience dealing with these types of relationships.

       The above passage of scripture tells us to flat out avoid such toxic or unhealthy people. We want to be loving and Christ-like when dealing with difficult folks but it’s not unkind to protect yourself against such toxicity. Jesus made conscious choices to deny people who were demanding and forceful about the way things were going to be. He knew that doing His Fathers will was far more important then giving in to, well… tantrums. If someone is demanding more of us then we are able to give, then that person is only seeking their own agenda. If someone is making themselves more elevated then you, then they are displaying self-seeking ideas as well. If someone attempts to thwart your plans to suit their own feelings, then they do not have any interest in your well-being.

       These are all reasons to set healthy boundaries. We can show love from the edge of these boundaries. It is in love that we set them. Love for Jesus, love for ourselves, and yes… even love for the person you need to set boundaries with. This tells them that they still hold value in your life because if they didn’t, you could just cut them off all together. We just have limits to how much access they have so we don’t end up getting frazzled or frustrated. We can hold on to joy and peacefulness. I have seen this to be true in my life now. But I’m still on the journey of boundaries.

       Next week I’ll share my method of what setting boundaries actually looks like in a tangible way. I’ve come up with something that works for me and I hope it’s helpful to you as well. Blessings my dear valued readers and if your coffee or tea is gone, feel free to geta refill!  

See ya next week!        

Ever Felt Sorry For Yourself

Hi all. I hang my head a little and ask humbly that you would still have a seat at my table. Let me start with prayer…

       Father in Heaven, I ask Lord that to spite my feelings of inferiority, you would bless these words. I ask that even though I waded in the pool of self-pity and denied my responsibility to the ministry You graciously and trustingly gave me; these words will still hold value for who reads them. Grow this ministry Father, in only the ways You can. In Jesus name, Amen.

       Some of you may have noticed that there was no post last week. This was due to my feelings of “not enough”. I felt as though I was offering nothing of value to anyone in my words. I felt like they weren’t reaching anyone so why bother putting them out there?

       The book I’m currently reading is all about the power of our words and I simply felt like my words had no power. You know what I discovered? They don’t!

       My words alone hold no power in and of themselves at all. It is God alone who gives them power. This caused me to rethink my position in writing. If I’m writing to gain followers and read comments and reap accolades, then I’m writing for entirely wrong reasons.

       From when I started writing, my dream has remained steady… that the words I would write had the ability to move people, to help people, and to bring comfort to people. In the beginning I’ll admit that I felt like I had a little something to prove. I somehow felt as though I had to be an example in the disability community to show that we had just as much capability and value in the non-disabled community. To be the disability super heroine if you will. I needed to be needed.

       But there is a verse that comes to mind when I feel this way…

1 Corinthians 5:6 “Your boasting is not good; do you not know that a little leaven leaveneth the whole lump?” (ESV)

       This leads me in the thoughts that perhaps my lump, AKA, this ministry, is being leaven with pridefulness. If I am writing for the reasons, I mentioned above… moving, helpfulness, comfort… then I keep writing for those reasons. However, if I begin the process of feeling like I’m not getting something back from it then it becomes about me. I definitely do not want this ministry to be about me. If I am obedient to God’s calling to write then the results are completely up to Him. My job is to simply write. Right? (pun intended)

       Maybe you needed this reminder today too. If you feel like you are not making any difference where you are right now, just keep being obedient to God and He will do the rest. It can be difficult if we don’t see tangible evidence of what we are doing. But keep clinging to the knowledge that if God called you to a task, He will have a purpose for it and for you doing it. Trust His process and stand on His words for strength.

       Be blessed friends and I’ll see ya next week 😉     

A Bonus Post

Hello all and * S U R P R I S E *

We have a bonus post for this week!

When I first started writing, I began with poetry.Which is pretty odd because I’ve never really gotten into poetry. I don’t dislike it, but it’s not really my cup of tea.

However God saw it differantly. I began writing poems at around 3:00 a.m. most nights and it continued for several months. Not knowing where God was going with all this, I just kept writing the words He was inspiring me with. Four years later, I still occasionally write poems but it hasn’t been as frequent as it once was.

Then I awoke this morning while it was still mostly dark with a title and the first two lines of the following poem and the impression to post it here today. If you like what you read, please let me know and I’ll occasionally through in a bonus post of poetry. All the poems I write have this spiritual content and I’d love to begin sharing them with you if y’all would like to read them. I want to give my readers what they want so drop me a comment with your thoughts.

Without further adue… here is this mornings inspiration…

A Table for Two

The table is set and the food is prepared,

Serving bowls have been filled with plenty to be shared.

   Using the best china and linen napkins too,

I’ve spread out my best tablecloth especially for You.

Just sit right down here, are You comfortable do You feel?

You pour the drinks and I’ll serve the meal.

The glasses are filled and the food is dished out,

There is plenty of everything, of this I have no doubt.

But before we dig in, you bow Your head to pray.

Following Your lead, I waited to hear what You had to say.

“We thank You Father for this bounty we have here,

We are grateful and thankful and would like You to draw near.”

Still You spoke, “Father feed us before we eat,

For You are nourishment to our souls and Meer food cannot compete.”

I am intrigued by Your words and I ponder them a while.

With Your head still bowed, I saw You smile.

Reaching for a Bible I didn’t notice was there,

You opened its pages and read with such care.

“Taste and see that the Lord is good…” is what I heard You say,

“May I read a little more?” You asked of me and I replied “of course You may!”

Verse after verse, our souls were fed as we had our spiritual feast.

The food sat on our plates seeming to not be needed in the least.

You closed the Scriptures and we said another prayer.

“God provides what we need” You say, “and this is the second layer.”

Gesturing to the food while You spoke, my mind was brought back to our meal.

Looking at my plate, I said “there is a fullness that I already feel.”

I hesitated to eat from my plate or even drink from my cup.  

“Spiritual food is nourishing” You said, “it will always fill you up.”

Picking up Your fork You said “God provides physical food too.”

So we partook of the bounty, but it would not fill me like God’s word did, this I surely knew.

We were talking and smiling as this scene faded away,

I opened my eyes and realized that it was a new day.

Was it a dream or a memory, did I really dine with Him?

Was Jesus at my table or was that chance very slim?

I  felt His presence still clinging very near.

It seemed so very real, He surely had to be here.

I knew from that day on that I would invite Him to dine with me.

Whether He was physically here or not, His spirit would surely be.

Personal time with Jesus is key, this advice I give to you,

Make space and time in your day to set a table for two.     

I Think About that Prodigal son in the Bible

Father in Heaven, I pray that the words written here touch many hearts and turn our eyes heavenward. In Jesus name, Amen.

Hia table family! I’m so glad to have you here. Well you know the drill… grab your beverage and some sort of snack and let’s chat.

So I am in the stage of life now that almost makes me an empty nester. My son is almost twenty-one years old and my daughter is nineteen. My son is out on his own and my daughter is very busy with school and work so she’s not here much these days. As the days… weeks… months… roll by, I’m reminded of the story of the Prodigal son found in Luke 15:11 – 32.

Verse twelve says “and the younger of them said to his father ‘Father give me the share of property that is coming to me’ and he divided his property between them.”

I often wonder why the younger son wanted his inheritance early. I mean it seems to me that both sons had everything they needed and probably most of what they wanted. They were expected to pull their weight, so to speak, but they had it made!

What drove this young man to get impatient and demand his share now? Im going to go out on my imagination limb here and say that this Father probably wondered where he went wrong with this son. He gave him everything he thought was needed and wanted. He taught his sons the value of hard work. He provided for them. He even set up an inheritence for both his sons to take care of them even after he was gone. What more could a parent do right?

Yet, I can’t help but think this Father questioned what he could have done differently so his son wouldn’t have been so greedy and selfish. Have you ever questioned these same things? I sure have.

Our kids are not always going to make the decisions we would like them too. We’ll teach them one way and they will sometimes go another. These choices can make a parent feel like they have failed. “I didn’t raise them this way” or “I don’t know where they got that line of thinking from” or “how could they go against everything I’ve taught them”… any of these sound familiar?

My kids grew up in a christian home with regular church attendance and vacation bible school and even attending our church school for many years. So I guess what I’m getting at is we did “all the right things”, right? It’s funny what we deem “all the right things”. The bottom line is they are not born with a manual. No doctor or nurse is standing at the check out desk asking if we’d like to purchase an extended warrantee or refund policy. We go home with our new born babies and… wing it!

I know we as parents make many mistakes when raising our kids and we can look back and find ways we would have done something differently. But the reality is we can’t go back. We have to focus on what we did right and also pray for our kids. As long as we did the best we knew how to do, then we leave the rest in God’s hands. We must release the guilt for those times we look back and see how to say this right or not over-react on that occasion or should have disciplined a little more firmly over that incident. If we’ve offered love and security, and this will look different for many people, then we have to let God take the reins from there.

My kids haven’t always made choices that I agree with and I’ve asked all the afore mentioned questions of myself. But I’m learning that once my kids enter adulthood, my involvement in their choices is very minimal. God isn’t going to hold me personally responsible for the choices of my children when I have done my best to teach and guide them in their youth.

Are you carrying guilt or fear or a sense of responsibility for the choices your kids have made? May I share the end of the story of the prodigal son with you?

Verse twenty says “and he arose and came to his father but while he was still a long way off his father saw him and felt compassion and ran and embraced him and kissed him.”

This son who demanded his share and then made EVERY poor choice possible, came around to see just how good he had it and went back home. Home to his father. Don’t miss that the father had been watching for him. The only way he could have seen his son “a long way off” is if he had been looking for him. Look for your child. Pray for your child. prepare for your child to come home. But don’t hang on to guilt over decisions your kids make when you’ve done all you know to do to be a loving parent.

You’ll notice too that this father didn’t give a long list of “I told you so’s”, he just embraced his son, wept over his son and kissed his son. Above all, pray for your children. I feel like prayer is my greatest weapon against the shiny temptations of the enemy. I encourage you to read this story in full and glean all the jewels it has to offer. Blessings to all of you.

Do Not Resuscitate Part 2

Well Hello all! I’m so sorry I had to postpone last week’s table gathering! If there is one thing that will completely throw things off for a blind person, it’s rearranging something! Whether that is furniture or a website, things are not where they once were and it takes some time to readjust. Thanks for understanding and stopping back by to sit and chat this week.

       So, let’s see, where wee we… Ah yes, I was at the hospital with my husband whom I found on the kitchen floor just moments before.

       I heard the nurse telling him that I was just outside his room and would be in just as soon as I could be. I paced in a short line back and forth outside the curtain, arm securely across my midsection and the other hand over my mouth. I don’t know if I was trying to stop myself from crying out loud or trying to keep from shouting at the staff to let me see my husband. Either purpose seemed pointless. “why can’t they just come and tell me he’s alright… why can’t they tell me something?” These were the endless thoughts that branded themselves on my mind.

       There were no other Doctors rushing in and out so I took that as a good sign. Finally… finally the curtain slid back a little and the nurse appeared, “you can come in now.” She said understanding my angst. Carefully moving past her and to my husbands side, I looked down at him and gently ran my fingers over his forehead. He still lay unresponsive in words but his body seemed to relax just a bit at my touch.

       He wore a neck brace and was lying on some sort of board to keep his back stable. They were not yet sure what had happened and wanted to keep his body as immobile as possible. A single tear escaped my eye as I observed my life partner in such a state. Would he walk out of here… would he be wheeled out… would he leave at all?

       I ran my hand down the length of his arm and I felt his bicep flex and twitch. His hand was palm side down at his side and slipped my hand into it. Ever so slightly, he squeezed my fingers. He knew I was there. He knew.

       Over the next few hours, my husband came around and I had to explain a few different times what had happened. He remembered the moments just before walking into the kitchen but nothing more. After several tests and deductive reasoning, the doctors concluded that he had some sort of hypoglycemic attack. Something in the food he ate that night reacted with his bodies natural sugars and his blood pressure plummeted and down he went. The doctor also concluded by the swelling on his head that he quite literally knocked himself cold when he hit the tile floor. I learned that my husband had likely been on the floor for as much as two hours before finding him.

       But one thing still to this day remains a mystery. How in the world did my husband retrieve his cell phone from his pocket, unlock the screen, and call me from a completely buttonless phone, all while unconscious?

       That question has only one explanation in my mind… divine intervention.

       But let’s go back to the title of this post. I mentioned my husband does not have DNR on his license. This of course means that if his life were on the line, it’s all hands-on deck! How is it with you? Would you want everything possible to be done to save your life or the life of a loved one? How about if it’s your spiritual life? Have you felt your relationship with Jesus slipping a little? Has it been slipping a lot? Is it dying? I have been in that place.

1 John 5:12 “He who has the Son has the life, he who does not have the Son of God does not have the life.”

       If we don’t have Jesus then we don’t have life. We need to be spiritually resuscitated. But have we placed a “Do Not Resuscitate” tag on ourselves? Have we told Jesus without words that we are no longer interested in His life-giving love?

       I couldn’t imagine living my life without my husband and when I came so close to that happening, I was SOOOOO glad there was nothing to indicate “DNR”. If you feel like you are tagged with Do Not Resuscitate, consider removing that tag and asking Jesus to grab the spiritual paddles and jump starting your heart again. Jesus doesn’t want to be without you, do you want to live without Him? Let the Great Physician perform a life saving operation to bring you back to life. Let Him resuscitate you my friend.                    

I Need Your Prayers…

I am asking please for all of you to pray for the technical part of my ministry… the enemy is A ‘foot. My computer is having major issues right now and it was only by chance that I was able to get on here right now and send out this post. Please bare with me and pray along side me for these issues to get resolved quickly. I’m very concerned about losing all the work I’ve done on my book so far and I have almost three hundred Emails sitting in my mailbox that I can’t access. I’ll get you the rest of last weeks story as soon as I can but in the mean time… pray pray pray! Thank you so much and much love to you all 😦

Do Not Resuscitate?

       Oh my goodness… I’m so sorry for the lack of our Wednesday post and our message for Monday post. There had been some changes done on my website and I couldn’t figure out how to do my posting! My husband had been out of town so I didn’t have any other working eyes to look at it and see what was going on. I sincerely apologize! I kind of feel like I stood you up for our dates but please know I really wanted to show up. I hope it is taken care of now and I’ll be on track again.

       Well get comfy and we’ll get chatting. Got your coffee or tea or cider? It’s getting to be that time of year! Grab a doughnut or danish or some toast and settle in.

       About twelve years ago, I had one of the scariest moments of my life. We lived in a small ranch style home that had a gally kitchen. This is the kind of kitchen that you can get to from either side. It’s open all the way around. There was a wall separating the Livingroom from the kitchen and the hallway leading to the bedrooms was off the kitchen. (There is a point to giving the lay out of the house, I promise)

       One evening, like so many, I had gone to bed before my husband as he is a bit more of a night owl then me. It wasn’t uncommon for me to already be asleep when he came to bed. But one such evening proved to be most uncommon.

       It was completely dark in the room and hallway so I knew when my phone rang, it was well beyond the time to receive phone calls. Still in a sleep induced stupor, I groped for my cell phone and it dawned on me that it was my husbands specified ring tone piercing the dark. Confused and half asleep, I answered the ringing with one hand and reached over to his side of the bed with the other. He wasn’t there. What in the world!

       Hearing a muffled moaning on the other end of the line, I quickly threw the covers back and began making my way down the hall. Turning into the Livingroom, I turned on a light. He wasn’t there. Phone still in hand and still hearing the muffled moaning, I rounded the corner to the other side of the kitchen. Flipping on the kitchen light, I saw the reason for the call.

       My husband lay face down on the tile floor with one arm stretched slightly above his head and his smart phone lay face up just inches from his hand.

       Mindlessly throwing my phone on the table, I knelt beside him and tried waking him. He was unresponsive. Just the terrible moaning. I couldn’t remember where I tossed my phone and I didn’t know as of yet how to use a smart phone. By this time my daughter, who was all of seven, had gotten out of bed and observed the scene at hand. Calm as could be she took her fathers phone and opened it to call 911. I was eternally grateful for my young child knowing how to operate a smart phone; I wouldn’t always remain so grateful as they got older and got their own phones however, wink.

       The dispatcher who answered my call said the routine script of “911, what is your emergency?”

What exactly was my emergency? My husband was unresponsive, and I have no idea what had happened. This was what I recited mechanically while continuing to try and rouse my husband. The minutes ticked by with a hollow echo from the clock seeming to mock my anxiety.

       The EMT personnel arrived and I stepped only two spaces back from the man who held the other half of my heart. Thinking about my two young kids standing in the hall watching this “only in the movies” scene taking place before them, I told my son to call his Grandmother and see if she could come over to stay with them while I went to the hospital. He had told me that he already called and both Grandparents were on their way. Praise the Lord for quick thinking little minds. The Grandparents pulled in and the ambulance carrying my husband in the back with two attending EMT’s, the driver, and myself. There had been no alert responses from my husband, and he continued the strange moaning he had been doing all along. I prayed silently for him and for the team tending to him.

       It went silent in the back of the ambulance as my husband suddenly stopped the vocal crackling. The next words I heard made my heart skip a beat.

“Okay, let’s not dilly-dally, let’s get there.” I didn’t have to see monitors or blood pressures or thermometers to know it wasn’t going well. I willed the driver to put his foot heavy on the gas and he did in fact pick up speed. I prayed, they scrambled, and everything was seeming to move in slow motion. I flashed on the scenes from emergency shows and the phrase “Do Not Resuscitate” blinked in my passing imagination. I knew my husband didn’t have “DNR” on his license so I’m not sure why I flashed on that. But I knew I wanted every Doctor in the hospital to pound on his chest if that’s what it took!

       Standing outside his curtained room, I could hear him saying something but couldn’t fully make it out. “She’s here, she’s here… she’s just outside your room right now.” I heard his nurse soothing him. Oh dear God, he’s calling for me and I can’t be with him…

       I’ll continue this story next week and I hope you all will join me at the table for that. Please feel free to invite friends to our gathering here and we’ll get more chairs. There’s room for everyone! See you next week friends.   

Whose package is this?

Hello everyone!Welcome to my table.. If you’ve never been here before, I’d like to welcome you with a big smile and a warm virtual hug! I’m going to ask you to come on an imaginary journey with me in this post so i want you to really try and envision the sceen going on here okay? Here we go…

 

Have you ever seen a package sitting on a desk at work or in a foyer at church and wondered “whose package is this?” Maybe you wondered if it was for you? You kind of look around to see if anyone is coming to take the package to deliver it. Maybe you’re asking other people if they know who it belongs to. You may even carry it with you from place to place asking if it is this person or that persons package. Now your curiosity is at an all-time high. You have turned the package over and over looking for a name tag but you can’t find one. Hmm, who could this belong to? Surely that person is expecting it but how do you get it to them when you don’t know whose it is? You examine the mysterious package once again looking for any indication of who it is addressed to. Somehow you see a tag that you are sure was not there before. You lift the tag and read the name…To: Jesus. Huh? It’s… to Jesus? How in the world do you deliver this one? You look up to heaven and ask “Lord what is this?”, “Open it.” You seem to hear. Taking the package to a private corner, you sit down on the floor and begin the curious unveiling. Slowly you peel off the wrapping and open the box. There are several folded pieces of paper. You remove one and unfold it. Your eyes widen. On the paper is a struggle that you have been having, maybe with your spouse or kids. You remove another paper. This one is the financial worries you’ve had. Another… the contemplation of seeking a new job. Still another… the disagreement you had with someone at church and how you should handle it.

But who… how could someone know about these things? You’ve told no one. After removing and reading all the slips of paper, you sit there, legs folded underneath you, package on the floor in front of you, slips of paper beside you. Then you realize that you have indeed told no one, not even Jesus. This package was for Jesus containing all “your” concerns, worries, and cares. “Cast your cares upon Him, for He cares for you.” 1 Peter 5;7.

So, you have now found out who this package belongs to, it belongs to Jesus. All of our cares and worries, He wants us to give them to Him. No one who gives a package to someone with their name on it will then expect it to be returned to them. Put all your concerns in a box, close the lid, seal it up, put Gods name on the tag and then give it to Him. Oh, and don’t ask for it back, after all, His name was on the tag.

A Message for Monday

Hi all and good Monday morning. I pray you all had a restful or at least peaceful weekend. Have you ever wondered about God’s timing in any particular situation? Maybe questioning why God put you somewhere in a specific season of life? Perhaps in the life of someone else at a particular time of their life?

 

I have a verse for you about this…

 

Ester 4:14 says “For if you keep silent at this time, relief and deliverance will rise for the Jews from another place but you and your father’s house will parish, and who knows if you have not come to the kingdom for such a time as this?” (ESV)

 

We do not know God’s timing in certain plans, but all we need to know is that He has a plan. Just because we can’t see the why’s and when’s, doesn’t mean there isn’t any. God sees all outcomes and He knows when we are to be there and why. Trust Him that He has a purpose for why you are where you are! Bloom where you are planted my friend. Have a blessed Monday.

The Other Woman

Father in Heaven, may these words be felt and heard in the manner that You’ve intended. Father let this message be relatable and honest and real. In Jesus name, Amen.

 

Come on in friends! Have a seat at the table and get comfy. I’d like to have an honest discussion about something I struggle with. I wrestle with “the other woman”. I can’t seem to measure up to her.

 

She’s kinder then me, she’s more cheerful then me, she’s even better with my kids and husband then I am. I can’t hold a candle to her.

 

She’s a better friend, sister, mother, daughter, wife… why she’s even a better homemaker and cook then me. How do I compete with that?

 

Who is this other woman you may ask? Who is it that has out-done me?

 

It’s the woman who lives in my head.

 

You may know her too. She’s the “Caroline Ingalls” that we have all longed to be at one point or another. Well I’ve longed to be her for many years. Most of you may remember that I shared my Little House on the Prairie obsession. I still watch it to this day and I’ve been watching since I was about fourteen years old. When I was old enough to be contemplating marriage and children, I fantasized about being Caroline Ingalls.

 

She always knew the right advice to give her children at every stage of life. She always had a lovely smile for Charles when he returned home at the end of a hard work day. She always had a meal ready and she kept an orderly household. She prayed and read her Bible. She baked, she sewed, she chopped wood for crying out loud!

 

Now I’m not going to go chop down the nearest Red Wood to try and keep up but Caroline could do it all! She knew when to speak and when not to. She brought a meal to a neighbor in need. Well… you get the idea.

 

When my husband comes home from a hard day, I’ve played out the Caroline scenario in my mind. He would walk in the door and I would be there to say “welcome home honey.” Dinner would be just about finished and the house would be peaceful. Enter reality stage left… he gets home and it’s the dog who greets him first. I’m behind in dinner prep from spending too much time on the phone trying to answer questions and listen to a friends dilemma or lost track of time checking Emails or any number of things.

 

he gets a glance and a “hey” for his troubles. The dog gives him a better greeting.

 

My kids are adults now and Caroline would transition beautifully, guiding them from her endless fountain of wisdom filled upbringing, into her years of stepping back and letting her children learn life as an adult with one hundred percent confidence in how she raised them. My children get repeated instructions on things I’ve already said a million times. My transition looks more like still trying to make them hear my advice and council even when they didn’t ask for it because, ya know… they need it anyway.

 

I won’t bore you with all the ways I fall short of my Caroline Ingalls image. But her soft spoken, gentle, trusting, wise ways still remain on my perfect woman’s bucket list.

 

Proverbs 31:10 “An excellent wife who can find? She is far more precious than jewels.” (ESV)

 

Proverbs 31:28 “Her children rise up and call her blessed, her husband also and he praises her.” (ESV)

 

That… that is the other woman I desire to be. I desire it with all my heart. I have the right words, actions, facial expressions, clothing, affections… completely played out in my mind, then this unrecognizable woman shows her unwanted self right in the middle of my Little House scene.  Oh I just want to call for a “CUUUUTTTT!” and begin again.

 

Have you ever felt like this?

 

I have been reminded so much these last few weeks about how our words affect people, especially our own families. We have the ability to lift them up to mountain tops or shove them down into the valley. I want my husband and children to rise up and call me blessed. I want to be that wife who is more precious then jewels. It’s a path God is leading me on and I’m so thankful for this fact… it’s never too late!

 

We can start right now to strive to be the person God has created us to be and as long as we still draw breath, it’s not too late. Isn’t that glorious news?

 

Dear readers, God is simply waiting for our “go ahead” to lead us. He’ll never force us but lead us with those gentle hands of a good Father. Place your hand in His and I’ll do the same and let’s begin the walk together.